Me Me Me Me!!!!

One blogger I follow recently shared a list called the Everyday Assertive Rights. It is used in behavioural therapy.

You might call it self-medication but I have found that going through it calms me down, gives me fresh perspective in these turbulent times and reminds me that I am allowed to make mistakes and be vulnerable and also to focus totally on myself and my inner circle in order to survive the messy times that we oft go through.

I have the right to…

1.___ say “No.”
2.___ be competent and proud of my accomplishments.
3.___ feel and express anger.
4.___ be treated as a capable human being.
5.___ make mistakes and be responsible for them.
6.___ change a situation.
7.___ say “I don’t know, I don’t agree, and I don’t understand.”
8.___ be treated with respect.
9.___ express my needs, opinions, thoughts, ideas, and feelings.
10.__ judge my own behavior and be responsible for it.
11.__ take pride in my body and define attractiveness in my own terms.
12.__ have a support system.
13.__ be myself and have a separate identity.
14.__ structure my own time priorities.
15.__ request help and receive information from others.
16.__ ask and not assume.
17.__ have privacy.
18.__ say “I’m not willing to accept that responsibility.”
19.__ be imperfect.
20.__ grow, learn, change, and to value my age and experience.
21.__ recognize MY needs as important.
22.__ _______________________________________________

It really helps. Try it!

Begone, Unbelief!

At this point in my life when I'm trying (but struggling) to find solace, confidence, inspiration and fresh hope, i hope stumbling upon this hymn again would help.

I have sung this hymn numerouse times in church but never has it resonated sooo deeply within the very core of me! And not even because it is describing what I'm feeling at present, but it is describing where i want to be with respect to my spirituality and faith in God. I know I'm not there yet; I cannot say my faith has been shaken. No no no! God has shown me that faith pays. I am just seeking a deeper understanding of what his plan is for me and my family.

Yes, my life is dark and dreary at present but I'm looking for the inner strength and a sort of link by which I can hold on or cleave much tighter to God. From where else would I find solace?


Begone unbelief, my Savior is near,
And for my relief will surely appear:
By prayer let me wrestle, and He wilt perform,
With Christ in the vessel, I smile at the storm.

Though dark be my way, since He is my Guide,
’Tis mine to obey, ’tis His to provide;
Though cisterns be broken, and creatures all fail,
The Word He has spoken shall surely prevail.

His love in time past forbids me to think
He’ll leave me at last in trouble to sink;
Each sweet Ebenezer I have in review,
Confirms His good pleasure to help me quite through.

Determined to save, He watched o’er my path,
When Satan’s blind slave, I sported with death;
And can He have taught me to trust in His Name,
And thus far have brought me, to put me to shame?

Why should I complain of want or distress,
Temptation or pain? He told me no less:
The heirs of salvation, I know from His Word,
Through much tribulation must follow their Lord.

How bitter that cup, no heart can conceive,
Which He drank quite up, that sinners might live!
His way was much rougher, and darker than mine;
Did Jesus thus suffer, and shall I repine?

Since all that I meet shall work for my good,
The bitter is sweet, the medicine is food;
Though painful at present, wilt cease before long,
And then, O! how pleasant, the conqueror’s song!

Amen!

Our First Born

Another mother's poem to her Aubrey Joy which captures aptly my emotions for my very own Aubrey Joy.

Peace, Love, Aubrey Joy
O precious,tiny,sweet little one,
You will always be to me
So perfect,pure and innocent
Just as you were meant to be;
We dreamed of you and your life
And all that it would be,
We waited and longed for you to come
And join our family.

We had such little time to play,
To laugh,to rock, to wiggle,
We long to hold you,touch you now
And listen to you giggle.
I'll ALWAYS be your mommy,
He'll ALWAYS be your daddy,
You will ALWAYS be our child
The child that we had.

But now you're gone...
But yet you're here
We'll sense you everywhere;
You are our sorrow and our JOY"
There's LOVE in every tear.
Just know our love goes deep and strong
We'll forget you NEVER,
The child we had, but couldn't keep
And yet will have FOREVER.

DON'T QUIT

I HAD TO SHARE THIS ...... ENJOY

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,


When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,


When the funds are low and the debts are high,


And you want to smile but you have to sigh,


When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must, but dont you quit. 

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow
You may succeed with another blow.


Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,


The silver tint on the clouds of doubt,


And you can never tell how close you are,


It may be near when it seems afar.


So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit


It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

~ Unknown

I Still Miss Him

So this evening, I've been crying after reading a blog of a Canadian man written while he was dying from cancer plus his last post that he had instructed his family to put up after he passed away. I was bawling my eyes out and sniffling all over the place.

That brought thoughts of the one close person in my life I've lost: my grandfather. After 3 years, I still miss him immensely! He passed in Jan 2008 and the sad thing is between 2004 and 2007, we were not in touch much because I was out of the country and even when I returned in late 2007 and he fell ill and was in hospital, I feel I didn't visit him enough. Too many late night-outs and the assumption that he would get better. I feel soooo guilty when I think I may have failed him towards the end.

I miss him, I miss him, I miss him, I miss him, I miss him, I miss him! But I know that he is with our Lord already, rejoicing in His presence. I am very very thankful that I grew up with my Papa and that he was the father that the Lord gave to me for the first few years of my life. He was a wonderful man and I'm glad he lived!

I miss you Papa. Always

THE BRICK

I had had to share this after I read it this morning ......

How many times have you asked yourself, 'why is this happening to me?' or 'why is God punishing me?' Whatever word you give to your problem and choose to search on the net for an answer or explanation, you will find thousands of places that claim to be able to free you from all of your tribulations.


You name it, there is a book, a site, and a 'guide' over there that will give the answers you desperately need. Some of them are sincere, and are honestly done to inspire hope and to support you in achieving a positive life and self-esteem. What they all have in common is that 'you hold the answer to all your questions, and the solution to all of your troubles.'


Maybe you don't even believe in God but nevertheless when something bad hits you over the head you question 'who, or what, is the power that threw me that punch?' Have you ever thought about first asking yourself the answer to that thorny question? Remember that little voice that is constantly nudging you? Well, that voice can be your best friend and advisor, or your worst enemy. If you believe in God or a force that connect and guides our dimensions you will pray and try to find comfort in your beliefs. If not, the road will be long, wide and hard. As one of these believers I pass to you this simple advice, if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
What I call spirituality is not going to church every Sunday or joining any mystic group. Spirituality is being responsible for all of your thoughts and actions. The forces of the universe will take care to coordinate these thoughts and actions and transform your life and the world. 


As opposed to advising you on how to live your life, I will entertain you with this short story I heard a long time ago. Especially now at this difficult period of global uncertainty, when we are exposed to so much suffering, misunderstanding and pain, it has an even more poignant feel.


A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared but instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown.


The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid he saw standing by and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?'


The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister....please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, ' he said, "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."


Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'


Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.


It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!'


God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not. He didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.


Let this thought sink in... If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Have a great journey.


~ Ton Pascal