What Makes A Mother

 What Makes a Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes.
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother and
I know I heard him say,

A mother has a baby.
This we know is true.
But God, can you be a mother
when your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can, He replied
with confidence in His voice.
I give many women babies.
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime
and others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this. God,
I want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,

"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of life and love and fear.
My Mommy loved me, Oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me,
I learned my lesson very quickly.
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy, Oh so much,
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
on her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
'Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'"

So you see, my dear sweet one,
your children are okay.
Your babies are here in MY home
and this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with ME
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home,
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother—
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of,
right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
until their time is done.
They'll be up here with ME one day,
and know you're the best one.
~Jennifer Wasik~

Dear Diary - 18th Jan 2013

I’m getting disillusioned with work and I continually wonder if I will ever enjoy or be able to cope with working for an employer for long without self-combusting.

In my current job which I have only been in for about 6 weeks, my colleagues annoy the shit out of me already for the most inconsequential reasons. And I know I am the problem. Will I ever care for work enough to want to do a brilliant job? Is it a phase most people go through? Will I finally make the 110% push towards operating my own business and not just as a side hustle?

Unfortunately, owning an HR consultancy just doesn’t thrill me. I actually wish I could live a life of leisure, look after my (future) kids, do the school run, supervise the housekeeping, have lunch with friends, cook fancy recipes for the family etc and still have money in the bank! And on the side I’d like to sell sex-toys! Yes I really do!

I’m just very tired with my life as it is now, I can’t keep myself from nodding off when I think about the current state of it.

Let’s see what 2013 holds