The Rules of Being Human

I received this from my friend Saviera and thought I'd share with my own additions in bold at the end ;-)....

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around. - Does this imply that reincarnation actually exists? Then next time I really want to come back with Selma Hayek's body and Hilary Clinton's brains.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works." - Hmmmm, don't we all sometimes wished some failures had not ocurred at all? But never lose the lesson!

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson. - Oh for fuck's sake! It's like being made to write "I will never chew gum in class" a hundred times on the blackboard as punishment

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain its lessons. If you are alive there are lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better than "here." When your "there" has become a "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here." - True that! Always shifting the goal posts init?

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself. - I don't quite agree with this but maybe I just don't get it?

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours. - Say that again! We are masters of our own destinies I always say. We should quit blaming ill-luck, 'the system' or someone else when things go wrong.

9. Your answers lie inside you. The answer to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. This will often be forgotten, only to be remembered again.

(Cherie Carter-Scott)

Happy Birthday to My Wonderful Mother!

Below is the status I put up on Facebook today:

Ma, on your birthday, I celebrate you being you, my extraordinary mother.
You have made such a difference, created so much good in my life!
I celebrate your smart mothering, your boundless physical and emotional energy; loving me, leading me, supporting me, lifting me when I fall.
On your birthday, Ma, I celebrate the best thing about my life...having you as my mother, a mother like the one I want to be.

I don't want to go on and on about how great she is because well simply put: she is. She is the best mother I could have ever imagined. I tell myself almost every day how lucky my siblings and I are to be borne by her; we are all sooo blessed to have her in our lives.

She loves her family unconditionally. She is and will always be the mom I hope I am when I have my kiddibubs. I have appreciated her more as I have grown older and gotten married myself. I tell you, as a parent your job doesn’t end when your child marries; it just shifts into a whole new gear/dimension in which you need serious tact, mediation and arbitration skills. And my oh my Olivia Ofei has done herself proud in her new role as mother to a young married woman and mother-in-law. She is always there with a kind ear; well she is also able to seriously tell me off when I’m out of line. Thanks to her, I’ve not had to cook any banku even though my husband loves it; freshly cooked banku in a food warmer is transported from Sakumono to Ashalley Botwe on a regular basis. The only fufu that has been pounded in my house was arranged by her when she came over for a few days during the New Year.

I have had a couple of rough moments in the past couple of years and on each occasion, she has come over to stay and take care of me without a word of complaint! She just does this mothering thing so well and makes being a working mother seem so effortless! No wonder I always say that when I grow up I want to be like my Mama, never mind that I’m past 30 years of age. I still don’t think I’m half the woman she was at my age. She was a mother of 4 with 2 stepchildren and a husband who worked out of the country by the time she was 30! I just don’t know how she did it!

She has this knack of getting people (both young and old, in fact more young) to feel comfortable around her. My friends get on marvelously well with her, they think she is a riot and a half but I always say: “well different if she is your mother”. Because, as much as she would laugh and share the latest celeb gossip with me, the next minute, I’m being grounded and slagged off proper for misconduct. You always know where you stand with her; classic case of ‘what you see is what you get’. She never minces her words and always says it like it is. That is one trait I’ve picked up from her; I’d like to think I’m without much pretense; life is soo much simpler like that.

She is also sooo smart; she was the smartest as a child among her siblings of 5. And even now, she still amazes me with her knowledge of current world affairs. Of course it helps that her bedside radio is permanently tuned in to BBC World Service; she sleeps and wakes up to it. She is aware she knows and is usually ready to offer her opinionJ!

I mean how did she do it raising us and how does she still do it now? How can you explain that her 4 kids ranging in age from 30 to 22 call her first for any piece of advice? You will think these will be the times when we are off living our lives and making our own decisions and being all grown-up. She is sooo down-earth, has a naturally enquiring and discerning mind, loves reading and working out puzzles. The best and most appreciated gift to her is never anything expensive and elaborate but a book of crossword puzzles and cheap tabloid celeb-gossip filled magazines. She can tell you where Anjelina Jolie and Bard Pitt holidayed at last summer and whats up in Eastenders! LOL! And she is ever sooo grateful, one thing I love about her! The morning after you give this woman something, she will call you to say thank you. Olivia Ofei (nee Siameh-Mensah) is not just a wonder mother but a decent human being.

So before this entry starts sounding like a tribute to a dead person, in a nutshell, my mother is pretty stinking amazing and I love her soooo much! I look forward to many more years with her and I just can’t wait to see her hanging out with her grandkids! I sooo want my kids to have the privilege of knowing this amazing human being!

The Pros and Cons of Most Exotic Places to Have Sex

For long-term couples not just the married ones, sex can get pretty mundane and seem a bit of a chore after a while. And then doing it in the bathtub, the kitchen counter and on the couch is no longer exciting. We need to get out of the bedroom mentality first of all even if it’s the most obvious choice. In fact, it is the obvious choice for lazy couples! If you have sex before bed, in the bed, and never get out of the bed, then you aren't experiencing all that sex has to offer. Finding new and exciting ways AND places to have sex can help spice things up.

It is still a matter of choice and what might work for one couple may not work for the next. I stumbled upon a blog spelling out the upsides and downsides of some exotic places to have sex. I have added my tuppence plus some tit (no pun intended) bits of my own. I have also indicated with a tick the ones I have tried out and plan to revisit!

Enjoy!

1. On the beach/In the Ocean ✓

Pros: This is a little bit more daring than your own personal pool, but it can be pulled off. Try going to a secluded beach and getting hot in the waves, or even trying the more difficult task of having sex on a raft or floatie or hooked up against a rock.  Good place to clean up afterward. 

Cons/Warning: Everyone else has cleaned up there, too. That’s where fish pee. Crabs. Two words: Vagina sand. Also, beware of bruises if you do it propped up against the rocks as I did.

2. Under a tree ✓

Pros: Fresh air. Romantic. Great place to role-play that werewolf fantasy. 

Cons/Warning: Bird voyeurs. Actual werewolves. 

3. In your childhood bedroom 

Pros: The thrill of getting caught. 

Cons/Warning: Actually getting caught. By the new owners. Who will charge you with trespassing. After they shoot you. 

4. In space 

Pros: You feel skinny because you’re weightless. No one can hear you scream so you can let it rip!

Cons/Warning: The wet-spot is everywhere. 

5. On the kitchen floor 

Pros: I have no idea, but it’s in almost every porno I’ve ever seen so there must be one. 

Cons/Warning: Everything. 

6. On video 

Pros: You will feel like a right porn star (and yes some women do have that secret fantasy!), it’s about having the camera on you that brings out the wanton wench in you! If you are body-confident you can play-back later and see how you can improve. And that tape can work wonders when you are alone with a sex toy.

Cons/Warning: Everyone will see it (Including your mother). And if you become famous, it will be EVERYWHERE!

7. In an active volcano: 

Pros: You’ll both laugh about “how hot this is” and double entendres are fun. 

Cons/Warning: You’ll die painfully.

8. In the Pool ✓

Pros: If you have a pool in your backyard, then you should be using it for more than swimming laps. Pools offer a refreshing place to have sex, and eliminates the need for the dreaded clean-up. And there are more options than you might have guessed - the steps, the hot tub, the ladder and even the diving board! You will feel like you are floating as you bob up and down. And if you do it with others in the pool, the feeling of naughtiness is just wowzah!

Cons/Warning: If you get caught out ….. Don’t try it if there are kids in the pool. And he certainly cannot come cos I’m damn sure his cum will rise to the surface. Gross!!!

9. In a Car ✓

Pros: I know what you're thinking: cramped space, and it's been done before. But don't you remember life as a teenager, parking in your boyfriend or girlfriend's car, making out until it's time to head home? Recapture your youth by having sex in the car.

Cons/Warning: But be careful where you park! I remember doing it in a heavily guarded posh neighbourhood in Tema and 2 policemen tapping on the window to ask why were parked there. Also, mind the gear/shift!

10. In a Field ✓

Pros: If you're lucky enough to live on a large acreage, this will be easier than if you live in the middle of a city. But having sex in a large, open field can really be exciting, especially for those who like to "worry" about being "caught."

Cons/Warning: Watch out for poisonous flora and make sure there aren't any curious animals or insects about. I had the pleasure of doing it on a golf course in the dead of night years ago and for several days after I was forever scratching the mosquito bites on my ass.

11. On An Exercise Machine

Pros: The padded seats on exercise machines and benches are great places for girls to assert their dominance in "bed". It provides the perfect positioning for girl-on-top sex, and gives a more exotic place for sex than the boring old bedroom.

Cons/Warning: Make sure that you are in your own private gym. I don’t recommend a public one – and look out for other equipment that might get in your way; don’t’ mistaken the handle of the cross-trainer for his ****

12. At The Office

Pros: If one partner or the other has a private office at his or her workplace - preferrably with a lock on the door - it might present a "forbidden" place to have sex. Surprise your significant other with lunch at noon - and you for desert.

Cons/Warning: Lock that door and make no sounds! In fact, do it after hours – you don’t want to scamper that promotion opportunity.

How Many?

What's your number? According to a new survey, a third of women aren't honest when it comes to 'fessing up about the number of men that they have slept with. And it is not even just an African thing, European, American; Asian etc women all do it. But why do we do this? And what's the right approach to addressing this touchy subject with your man? Also, can the same be said for the men? And when we lie why do they lie about the numbers?

According to a research reported in the UK newspaper Daily Mail, a third of women are guilty of lying outright when asked how many sexual partners they've had - and of those women, the majority (64%) go for a number that's smaller than the truth. But of course! I can’t think of anyone who would increase that particular number, in fact 64% is damn too low!

I have been honest before and I have also lied about this particular issue and it has always been influenced by who was asking. And if I lied, I’ve always thought it was a teeny white lie and nothing to lose sleep over. Funny thing is I don’t recall ever asking a guy this question; I’ve never really cared. I may ask how many ex-girlfriends they’ve had but never about how many sexual partners they have had. But how come I’ve been asked this by most men I’ve been with or considered being with? Why does it matter so much to men? Why do we even have that conversation? And why do we lie about it?

For some women, going through all of the gory details just seems like a bit TMI (Too Much Information). Some women do what we call ‘lying by omission’. When asked the question, they suddenly suffer from amnesia and give such a vague answer, it’s almost a non-answer. I have been guilty of that. Over the years I have somehow outlined the edited highlights - only the important or long-term relationships rather than the mistakes, 2 months relationships or non-starters; thankfully never a one night stand. We women usually lie about our sexual history because of our fear of rejection; we downplay our sexual history when we are dating someone we like.

Not surprisingly, feeling I had to lie to some wanna-be boyfriend or suitor is a red-flag for me. It tells me I can’t be with you if I feel you can’t accept me for what I am, warts and all. I have learned that nothing has come out of the liaisons I’ve had with the guys I’ve lied to but on the occasions I’ve been up front and honest, it has made me feel closer to the guy. It is my view that if you're with a man who can't respect the way you've decided to manage your sex life, he's probably not worth your time. I am myself from the minute all is bared out and of course it helps if he is also honest and accepts and appreciates the truth. It has been easier for me not because I’ve not had many ex sexual partners but because I naturally gravitate towards men who are free-thinkers like me and don’t make a big deal of the past. Though, I must add that my number is not that huge considering my age and how long I've been having sex (13 years). Well this is the argument I use to console myself! Hahahaaaaa.

But other women may not be lucky in finding men who are not critical and hence not every woman might want to be as open. Ultimately, as with the other aspects of one’s love life, disclosing your number - or not - comes down to personal choice but so many women gravitate towards bending the truth. Why we do have to downplay our sexual prowess? I think that if women lie then it perpetuates the myth that women are less interested in sex than men, and that women should have fewer sexual partners.

Most of you guys will admit that you feel better deep inside knowing that your girl has not ‘been’ with too many other men before you; to put it crudely, she has not got that high a mileage! :-) But why should it matter??? It makes things sooo tough for women. We make mistakes and we try to move on and try and minimize the impact of those mistakes on the rest of our lives. I don’t think us women want to lie but both men and women feel free to judge your choices in the way they'd never do with a man. In the face of that, and all the double standards, who can blame a girl for managing her PR?' In fact, I know some people who will need a whole team of people to manage their PR for sure! Mileage be what! But what the heck! Why should it matter I ask again!?

So, What do you think? Is honesty the best policy, or is this an area of your personal life where you think it's fine to stretch (or shrink) the truth?

I am Celebrating ……. are you?

I had an ‘ahah’ moment in the shower some months ago as I indulged in my increasingly numerous moments of ‘self-pity’; it hit me that gosh my life could so much more worse off than it actually is. It’s taken me quite some time to get to this realisation.

When it all seems bleak and you struggle to find a meaning to it all; how difficult will it be to find something to be grateful for and celebrate about? Most people agree that being grateful is important if we are to have a positive life and it is only when you find things to be grateful for that you are able to see the bright side of life. Unfortunately, we often look at what we don’t have instead of what we have, and we end up complaining unendingly instead of being grateful. The biggest NO NO is taking things for granted. Taking something for granted makes us forget how miserable we would be if we didn’t have it.

They say that sometimes one needs to experience a loss to be able to appreciate what you have. When something goes wrong in your life and sympathetic friends in their efforts to comfort you, tell you about how what you are experiencing could be worse; and recount stories of other people’s misfortunes, at that moment while you wallow in self-pity, you may think “oh just shut up, you lot!” And that is a perfectly normal reaction. It’s only moments later that you come to appreciate the situation in its entirety and also appreciate what has been left of the situation and learn lessons from how you can turn things round in your favour.

I don’t know about you, but I would rather not wait till that experience happens. With time, I have come to realize that we should learn to appreciate the things we have without first experiencing a loss. So here are 10 simple things I am grateful for in my life. While perhaps not all of them will apply to you, I believe there are more that apply than don’t. Here they are:

1. I have a loving family – my family: mom, dad, brothers, husband, aunts, cousins ….. I am so lucky to have unconditional love and support from these people I call family. And since I got married, I have enlarged this circle to include in-laws. I have been lucky to have such laid-back, no-drama people who allow me to be and are always there for me no matter what (well, almost). It is these people too that we take for granted the most. Who do you pay a debt to the fastest? More a friend that your brother. We must be grateful for family.

2. I have good friends – True that my circle of friends has shrunk as I got older but the quality has certainly improved! My oldest friends are my closest. Years ago, my mother was always vocal about the friends she approved of and those she didn’t and it is so weird that those she approved of are the ones who are still in my life now; these mothers are such witches! I have numerous acquaintances but only a handful that I call constantly and whose counsel I seek regularly. I am especially grateful because I know that good, caring friends are something that not everyone has.

3. I am healthy – Sometimes, we need to be sick to understand the blessings of being healthy. When you are down with something as ‘routine’ as malaria; and your muscles and joints ache and creak, don’t you just miss being able to move about effortlessly? I am soo grateful that I have never been seriously sick, ever! While we have good health, let’s be thankful and do all that we can to keep our bodies that way. Doctors and hospital workers are not miracle workers, sometimes, our bodies can let us down without any good explanation and we have to accept that a. It is just the will of God or b. we did something wrong somewhere along the line. This brings to mind the recent sagas with gynecological issues at the hospitals. My heart goes out to the families who have experienced losses but sometimes we have to be careful we don’t allow grief and the need to find someone to blame to cloud our better judgment of situations. I repeat, sometimes our bodies just let us down and there is nothing we can do about it.

4. I have enough financially – I may not be living in Trasaco, but I have a roof over my head and enough closet space to keep all my designer labels and enough shoe rack space to keep all my Louboutins (hahahha, I wish!!!).
I may not be driving the Honda CRV (as I would have wished) but at least my old banger’s shock absorbers work and I can travel from home to work in minutes instead of travelling in months or years like Magellan and Columbus. Still not convinced I have enough? Try this http://www.globalrichlist.com/.

Whenever I hear of the latest celebrity or rich dude who just committed suicide, I wonder: “so why do I want his/her life?” Enough said.

5. My computer works properly – Have you ever experienced turning on your PC only to find that it didn’t work and all your data is gone? I have and it is sooo damn frustrating. That was when I also experienced ‘tears of frustration’. Never again since then.

6. I have abundant entertainment options – Even royalty eons ago, didn’t have a fraction of what I have now. I have my teevee, movies, my Blackberry, Solitaire on my laptop, just to name a few.

7. The law of the land works in Ghana – Can you imagine if people could do just anything they liked and if there was virtually no protection of rights? Well, before you die of horror at such thoughts, understand why I especially feel safe and protected in Ghana where we have good law codes. Fine, we are not perfect, but we are not Darfur.

8. Online social communities exist – Through the hustle and bustle of what our lives have become in the noughties, I am grateful that I have a medium to communicate with friends: Facebook, MSN Messenger, Google Chat etc; they all make it easy to keep in touch with friends and family on a daily basis in real time; still be part of their lives without committing a lot of time and energy, banter and laughter shooting around the world at the speed of light.

9. That my grandfather lived – He passed away two years ago and not a week goes by without me thinking about him and tearing up. He was a wonderful and sometimes annoying man. He was a true patriarch, educated during a time when not many were and immensely proud of his family. There was a time when I was angry with God for taking him away before he could walk me halfway down the aisle and see his great-grandchildren being born; I also got angry when I realized that Mugabe is older and still alive! But I have come to appreciate knowing him for soo long before he passed. I appreciate the fact that I have wonderful memories of him especially as I have friends whose grandparents passed away even before they were born and others who have grandparents tucked away in the villages who they see annually at Christmas. I miss you lots Papa but I am glad I had you when I did.

10. The curtains in my bedroom – They are see-through and each weekend morning at 6am I cuss furiously as the sun streams in; I also vow there and then to get new curtains with black-out lining. I have still not changed them because 30 minutes later as I get out of bed, I become grateful that I am alive to see another day!

These 10 things are simple, but my life would be miserable without them and I’m sure there are still many things I have covered here. So learn to appreciate what you have and you will realize what a blessed life is yours!


Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6 NIV)

Secrets You Should Never Share

I read an article in Glamour magazine recently on this subject. I know someone will think: “duh! Talking about it means sharing it and it’s no longer a secret!” Well, I’m just going to list some secrets that women out there may have; may not apply to every woman or reader of my blog. And, no, not all would apply to me as well; I must say though that when I read Glamour’s list, ahem, I kinda went different shades of pink, purple, aubergine and crimson ……

I will also list some secrets you do not have to share with your spouse. We all know it’s only a fool who shares every single detail of their life with a partner/spouse. And no, I’m not encouraging being uber secretive and behaving like an MI5 (or is it 6) agent around your spouse. In general, in most instances, it's good to be open and honest with your spouse; makes it easier for you to trust in each other and obviously when the trust exists … voila! we have ourselves a happy and healthy home life. But in reality, sadly, there are times and situations when it is not advisable for you to share with your partner what is on your mind or the sordid and stupid things you got up to years ago when you were young and foolish; I am one person very guilty of blaming past choices on the foolishness of youth but not every partner would understand the phrase: “foolishness of youth” and you will have on your hands a bad case “living to regret”. This is the case when if you shared the info/secret it would hurt them, completely change their perception of you, nothing positive would come of it, and it might just damage your relationship permanently.

I think I’m fairly lucky in the sense that my husband was my very good friend for about 10 years before we got hitched and knows most of my filthy little secrets and my very poor past ‘conquests’. But I still watch it with the revelation of anything new; and I am, very sure he does/thinks same. In fact, I don’t want to know everything; after all, they say ignorance is bliss.

Therefore, below, I give you ten secrets you should never, ever tell/share others (some specifically your spouse); Most of these I lifted off Glamour I have also added my own thoughts and some

1. That you do pelvic-floor exercises to get you through that really dull meeting – do these things actually work? When you pick up any glossy magazine for women they talk about these but I am not sure what they actually mean. But I do understand that sharing this with anyone could mean: 1. You actually have a problem with your vaginal walls and 2. someone with a hyper-imaginative mind would think you’ve had one too many …… and we know you never tell how many of them you’ve had! Never ever!!!
2. You got ever so drunk one night, pulled the horrible, but inexplicably magnetic, barman in your local, and it was HOT – I have imagined doing this on a trip to South Africa in 2008. I actually considered making some cute waiter work for his tip. And I also thought aint no one gon know about this …. But I didn’t do it anyway and I told my boyfriend (husband now) later. We laughed about it but some months later he brought it up again in a way that made me realize that he didn’t think it was that funny so ……. Lesson leant right??
3. Good memories of your ex – This is a clear case of ‘Do unto others what you will wish them to do unto you’! I will be very upset if a boyfriend/husband talks about an ex in a good light all the bloody time! Even if we don’t admit it, every person hopes deep down inside they will always be the fairest of them all and all your partner’s exs pale in comparison to you. Just don’t go there especially about sex with the others! No No No! Whether good or bad!
4. About the one time you just couldn't wait and peed in the bush outside your house – Ok, this one is very abrofosem! We’ve all peed in bushes before right? Maybe the one you shouldn’t be sharing is the time you did Number 2 in the bushes!!! And had to wipe with your pioto!!!  LOL!!!
5. You've tried desperately not to, but you still fancy one of your boyfriend's friends or his sibling and fantasize about being with them. – This is probably an obvious one, but needs to be stated here just in case. If you think your spouse's brother or sister is good looking and/or sexy and they are the opposite sex as you, keep your yap shut. If you don't every family get-together for the rest of your life will be ruined. And this applies pretty much to any fantasy. They say that having fantasy is healthy. I say it's only healthy if you keep them to yourself. Regardless of whether they are sexual fantasies or wishful thinking, keep it to yourself.
6. Whenever you walk past a building site you pretend to talk on your mobile to avoid the 'Alright, sweetheart?' sleazy chat and catcalls. – I actually enjoy these so I usually look them right in the eye with a scornful look on my face like am disgusted by the catcalls when I actually love love love them!! SO stupid right and no decent man would understand. I remember once I was eating at a restaurant in the Afgo compound with my boyfriend at the time when this proper boga guy in his cocaine-wash jeans winked at me. My boyfriend caught me smiling shyly back and he said in twi: “ah Dede paaaa kwasia wei p3 wo ah na wosri”. That wiped the smile off my face proper! I was about 21 then anyway. Young and foolish I know! J
7. You shoplifted a Snickers bar when you were 12 - and felt a delicious thrill at getting away with it – 12 years old mpo?? I remember stealing some bracelets from Dorothy Perkins in 2004 or so. OOOh the thrill! I was with this my friend whose name starts with an A and who got married in Oct 2009; I’m not naming and shaming cos she has got a bigger reputation to protect. But some of you can work out who she is hahahahahaha! She also stole one I think and she was acting all scared like I made her do it. But the way my heart was thumping as I walked past the detectors at the entrance. Anyway, major shoplifting is nothing to be proud of so please careful who you tell. In fact don’t even do it!!
8. The insane jealousy you feel for your little sister, who looks just like you - only younger. Not fair. – Can’t say much about that cos I don’t have a little sister but I can understand how this would be a no no so careful!
9. That you couldn't find Poland on a map if your life depended on it. – Some few weeks ago I couldn’t even remember what the capital of Senegal was and also that Philippines was in Asia. The latter scenario was when I was having a drink with colleagues from work; very embarrassing and not to be repeated!
10. You'll never understand why people think sex on the beach is romantic. You want sand there?! – You know how people go on about certain stuff that are cool to do but deep inside you you are just not down with the idea and you feel like being sensible and practical is not cool so you just shut up and play along?? Yea, this is one of those stupid ones. I’d rather do it against a rock (and I did! Wink wink)
11. Negative things about your partner’s friends - While probably not high on the list of no-no's, it's still important enough to include here. Don't disparage his/her friends. I usually just chip in when he does but I know it is not the best cos it will almost always come back to haunt you. I remember my 1^st ever boyfriend (can I even call him a boyfriend? This is Geyhey letter writing days) kinda dumped me cos I bad-mouthed his ‘friend’. This is the same person he used to diss but apparently he was the only one allowed to diss the guy.
12. Negative things about the in-laws – Listen here, I’m not a pro in this thing called marriage but even I know this is a NO NO NO NO NO! NEVER! Even if he is dissing them himself!! The friends thing above is nothing compared to this. Saying ugly things about your in-laws is a cardinal sin, one for which, you will pay for, for as many years as you and your partner remain married/in a relationship, which may not be as long as you think if you say bad things about their parents.
13. You sometimes fantasize that your infuriatingly me-me-me colleague has a horrible accident and loses her voice – Sooo wrong but you do have such fantasies but remember they are wrong and should remain as fantasies!
14. That you think your friend's baby looks a bit like Yoda from Star Wars. – OMG, Ann Krakue if you read this you will laugh! My dear Ann once struggled to say something nice about a friend’s new baby so she went: “erm, your baby has nice ears”. This even happens on Facebook; people lie sooo badly when commenting on baby pictures. We all know fresh babies look like aliens and you don’t have to say the baby reminds you of E.T. but you don’t have to gush and lie so much!! Me, I just start a little debate on which of the parents the baby looks like. That is interactive and safe.
15. Your local MP could be called Delilah Stardust for all you know – In this day and age when young people are supposed to be soo into politics and that is all people seem to discuss at social gatherings, it is sometimes not cool to show your ignorance of who is who in your government.
16. You've been known to look at Facebook pictures up to, oh, three times a day. - Asem ooooo. Who is guilty of this?? Meeeeee and I am also the only one who will admit to it. But, never to my husband!
17. You go to art galleries to feel sophisticated, but are actually largely bored. – This will apply to most things posh. Whenever I browse through Agoo magazine and see the who is who of Accra at these polo events, I always feel deep inside me that going to such an event would make me feel like a fish out of water. And I’m also sure that 70% (if not more) of the people there don’t have a clue what polo is all about either but would never admit it!
18. That you once read his text messages and then felt really guilty because there was nothing remotely incriminating. – GUILTY!!!
19. You agree with Sex and the City's Samantha that, "They don't call it a blowjob for nothing, honey." – Samantha is my baby! But meeehhhn! Most of us would never admit to agreeing with most of the things she says or does.

These 20 “secrets” you should never tell anyone including your spouse are meant as a means for keeping harmony in your relationship with others and in your marriage, not as a first step towards lying whenever you feel like it. In most every other case, honesty and openness will be a much better approach. Hopefully, you'll find these tips helpful.

And if there are anymore that you will like to share then please type away!