18th
February 2012
I
need some peace in my life
I
have been feeling disconnected from the God I felt connected to a few months
earlier. I struggle to pray cos I feel he knows me more than I know myself and
will not buy any bullshit pretence from me in prayer.
I
cannot pretend I understand.
I
cannot pretend I am patiently waiting on him.
I
cannot pretend I am willing to leave all to him.
I
cannot pretend I care about anything else apart from what I have lost.
All
the other good things in my life give me no comfort.
I
even feel disconnected in church cos connecting will mean breaking down and
making a fool of myself in front of strangers.
I
am losing myself in buying clothes! Oh my goodness! Thank God I don’t own a
credit card at this point in my life. I’m burning up enough Airtel units to
browse!!
I
am planning a trip in a few months and I am quite excited by that. Something to
do! I just wish I were brave enough to try a country I have never been to
before. But I guess I have the whole year ahead of me to realize new thrills
and dreams.
God’s
speed to me! Yea selfish new me! J
No comments:
Post a Comment