Can't Think of A Title

The internet became my friend, flat-mate, bed-mate, lover (to love and to hold till death bla bla bla bla) when I was living on my own in the UK from about 2003 to 2007; I didn’t even have a flat-mate till 2005 I think. Anyway, I spent many evenings on my own with my laptop propped on my lap, pillow, coffee table etc wasting time on the www. I had my fair share of online porn as well during this period; I was a ‘3-days free trial’ whore. Then I discovered this male friend of mine was an even bigger addict (wish I could name and shame but he is happily married now …) anyway, he actually signed up for real and sent me access to all these sites, sign-in names and passwords. I could only imagine what his credit card bill was like! But, porn took up only about a teeny 5% of my time on the www; honest!

I also ventured into the wild blog-o-sphere and signed up to follow sooo many blogs from the interesting, funny, stupid, weird and to the intellectually stimulating; I choose to read blogs that make me laugh, help me grow, or share perspectives and I stay away from negativity and snarky rants. My “unsubscribe” button proved more effective for my mental health than the dozens of bible passages I read on patience, perseverance and goodwill to my fellow man. I didn’t start a blog myself at the time but I found myself paging through people’s ideas and funny stories. I had plenty of insane stuff going on in my head at the time and it was just great being able to lose myself in someone else’s funny world.

Well, till I started my own and found it was much much nicer to have my own patch on the www where I could splatter my daily crazy. I have now figured out that there is no reason to keep my thoughts locked up in my head (I can’t even keep a diary) when I could have (equally?) silly folks (suckers?) enjoy my silly outlook on life, my quirks and poor semi-colon usage.

One of the most unexpected things to come from my blogging – other than my flavour for colourful adjectives – is an imaginary string that runs from the words on my page straight to my husband’s psyche. Some ‘communication champion’ might be shaking their head now and tsk tsking to high heaven; thinking it’s not a great idea to communicate with a spouse through what I communicate to the whole world in my blog but I will beg to differ. The truth as I see it is that somehow my blog has enabled my husband to know me on a different level. I also believe nothing can replace personal communication with another human, but my blog is definitely the ménage à trios neither of us ever consented to.

1. On my blog I’ve told stories I never thought he’d be interested in. But was.
2. On my blog I’ve unveiled inadequacies and he never knew I had. But do.
3. On my blog I’ve ignited a zest for writing and memory I never knew I had. But he did. (this is very true. He had been pushing forever to get me to write or do something creative with respect to story-telling etc)
4. On my blog I’ve made promises and resolutions. And he’s trying to help me keep them. (even though, this is one thing I’m not too happy about ….. a lot of the time)
5. My blog has sometimes made him pause in the middle of an ‘activity’ and utter the words: “You’d better not write about this on your blog”

Sure he makes fun of my “cyber friends”, my addiction to facebook and of course he is getting tired of our private conversations ending up on public display. He gets irritable when I choose to bury my face in Facebook (that sounds good) when I could be having ‘sexy time’ with him. But he tolerates my blog and my other interests and my slightly different outlook on privacy levels, he reads my blog each time he gets an alert there is a new entry and he finds ways to know me even better through the words that I type.

I look forward to being a mother (a lot) and I am pretty sure that when that little one arrives I will be blogging about him/her and sharing the experience with family and friends on the blogosphere. He or she might even get his/her own website and I am pretty certain Daddy would be the one creating that site and supporting me all the way.

PS: God please don’t forget that the little one should have Daddy’s fingers, nose, height and long eyelashes only and NOT his tiny eyes. AMEN! J