Happy 2010!

I had planned on steering clear of Facebook and my blog until the New Year. But I started getting bored and suffered a bit of insomnia and then thought that perhaps pounding out a bit of drivel here would beat counting sheep. It was fun spending time with family at my mom’s during the Christmas period and then she coming over to ours to spend New Year. But primarily I spent a lot of time just stuffing my pie hole (not what you are thinking!) and vegging; serious vegging. Which makes up for the lack of vegetables in my diet the past few days; unless the tomatoes which are the base for most Ghanaian stews count?

So here we are, it's 2010 and I am back at work after about 13 days off and I’m pretty wrecked at the end of the day for lack of:

·         The ability to open the fridge and reach for random food items

·         A couch to vegetate on in front of the box plus remote control

·         What my husband and I call HAS (Hot Afternoon Sex)

So I am in a not very good mood and thinking murderous thoughts ….. which is to say, just about my normal self.

I'm going to kick off my New Year's Resolutions tomorrow; no waiting for Chinese New Year for me this time (in the past I have redefine New Year for myself so I could delay tackling some resolutions) - well, maybe for some of the more challenging resolutions, but not all of them.

At first, I decided to scrap the whole idea of having resolutions but I’ve changed my mind about that and for the past few days I've been battling back and forth on exactly what these resolutions should be. Of course, they're much harder to keep when you're not sure what they are, after all. Or much easier depending on your perspective.

1. Live a Healthier Life (key of this would be ‘Exercise’) - This is an easy one. In short, get off my ass and move. Now, the most straightforward manner in which to tackle this one would be to join a gym; I'm not very straightforward though.

First I need to get into good enough shape to confidently expose my body to the public ridicule a gym invites. So I'm first setting up a 6 week private regiment of calisthenics to get to that point. I plan doing this with the husband; lacing it into our Sexual Encounters (now that sounds like the title of a soft porn movie). Does anyone remember that Sex And The City episode that had Samantha swinging from a contraption hooked to her ceiling??

Another sub point of this point would be ‘Diet’ - Bluntly, I gotta cut down on the frying and roast more; I need to decrease the portion sizes. Last year was a world of shit on many levels but alas they were all metaphorical. I'm looking forward to a world of shit in 2010, but only in the literal sense of the term. I just need to keep to the philosophy of Phillips' The Colon Lady: don't ever quit / in your quest to take a shit. I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. Prune juice is the weed baby!! Really makes you go; sets you free. Try it folks.

2. Sell my car and get a new one - Or at least fix it up to the point where it might possibly run for more than a month without breaking down and at least be sold for more than the spare change in the pockets of prospective buyers.

At present, it is like a Money Pit to a super massive Big Bucks Black Hole from which no income can escape. I thought it would be cool to have a Mercedes as a first car (well it is a tiny A class but hey ….) but from the minute I bought it in early 2008, no 6 weeks go by without it visiting the mechanic’s. I have been thinking of selling it forever, but can’t raise enough cash for what I really really want (see my Dear Santa entry). Fast forward another 12 months and I'm really ready to sell.

3. Be able to fit into a size 12 dress and live happily ever after – This is related to point 1 but it is a huge deal and deserves its own entry. This would be tops on the list but I'm fairly unlikely to achieve it and I don't want to place the bar too high only to disappoint. Baby steps. 

4. I will make my husband happy and pretend to become a basketball fan and watch ESPN with him all day - I will get through this by secretly sending hate mail to Kobe Bryant and Lamar Odom (but those 2 are fine brothas eh?)

5. I will only log into Facebook five or six times a day as opposed to my usual twenty to thirty times per day.

6. Give up on resolutions, grab some leftover Christmas chicken soup and go watch the Kardashians on TV. Ahhh, finally—something I can achieve!

I need to achieve all these! (who am I kidding? J)

But it’s a start; a few push-ups and sit-ups, regular trips to the can, a job I don't feel sick to my stomach going to each day and a car I’m not scared of driving cos it might leave me stranded at any minute ……. Once those are in place, perhaps then I can aspire to greater heights.